“Michael: That’s the point, Dad. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us because someone wanted a boyfriend.
Tobias: Well, don’t blame me!
Michael: I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.”
“George Sr.: Ban on organized sports?
Buster: You know, how you wouldn’t let me sign up for anything when I was a kid.
George Sr.: Is that what you’ve been thinking all these years? No, no, you were, you were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn’t kick, and you couldn’t run, you know? You’re just a, a turd.”
“Wife of Gob: I’m in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You’re in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No, your sister’s husband.
Gob: Michael? [angrily] Michael!
Wife of Gob: No, that’s your sister’s brother.
Gob: No, I’m my sister’s brother. [happily] You’re in love with me — me!
Wife of Gob: I’m in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I’m leaving. I’m enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother.
Wife of Gob: No!”